Recognising Safe Adults

What is a Safe Adult?

A safe adult is someone who you can trust, who will listen to you without judgment, and who will help you in a respectful way. They are people you can turn to when you need support, guidance, or protection. Safe adults are often people in your life who are responsible for your well-being, such as parents, teachers, family members, or friends.

How Do You Recognise a Safe Adult?

Recognising safe adults is an important step in building a support network. Here are some signs that someone is a safe adult:

1. They Listen to You

A safe adult listens carefully when you talk. They do not interrupt or dismiss your feelings. They pay attention to what you're saying and give you space to express yourself.

• Example: If you feel upset or worried about something, a safe adult will listen patiently without rushing you to finish. They will ask questions to understand how you feel and offer support when needed.

2. They Respect Your Boundaries

Safe adults understand and respect your personal space and boundaries. They don’t pressure you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and they make sure that you feel in control of situations.

• Example: If you say 'no' to something, a safe adult will listen and respect your decision without pushing you. They understand that it’s okay to set limits.

3. They Are Honest and Clear

Safe adults are honest with you, and they communicate clearly. They explain things in a way you can understand and don’t hide important information. They are open about their intentions and treat you with respect.

• Example: A safe adult will tell you if there’s something important they need to discuss and will always try to explain it in a way that makes sense to you.

4. They Make You Feel Comfortable and Valued

Safe adults make you feel like your thoughts, feelings, and opinions matter. They are caring and kind, and they will make sure that you feel respected and supported.

• Example: When you talk to a safe adult, you feel heard and understood. You don’t feel judged or dismissed, and you feel comfortable asking them questions or talking about your problems.

5. They Protect You from Harm

A safe adult will always act in your best interest and will try to protect you from harm. They are responsible and ensure you are safe in different situations. If they notice something that could hurt you, they will step in to help.

• Example: If someone is bullying you or making you feel unsafe, a safe adult will help you by either supporting you directly or reporting the situation to someone who can assist.

6. They Keep Your Information Private (Unless You’re at Risk)

Safe adults respect your privacy. They won’t share your personal feelings or problems with others unless it’s necessary to keep you safe. If they need to talk to someone else about what you’ve shared, they will explain why and ask for your permission.

• Example: If you tell a safe adult that you're feeling sad or worried, they will try to help you without telling others unless it’s to keep you safe or get you the help you need.

7. They Are Consistent and Reliable

Safe adults are dependable and consistent. They are there when they say they will be and follow through with their promises. You can count on them to be there for you when you need them.

• Example: If you’ve agreed to meet up with a safe adult or if they said they would help you with something, they will stick to their word.

Examples of Safe Adults

A safe adult can be anyone you trust who makes you feel safe and valued. Here are some examples:

• Parents or Guardians: They are the first people you turn to for help, guidance, and support.
• Teachers or School Staff: They are there to help you with your education and personal well-being. You can talk to them if something is bothering you at school.
• Relatives: Family members like grandparents, aunts, uncles, or older cousins can be good sources of support if you need someone to talk to.
• Friends' Parents: Sometimes, the parents of your friends can also be safe adults. They are often there to listen and offer help if you need it.
• Counsellors or Mentors: Professionals trained to help with personal or emotional issues can be great people to turn to if you’re struggling.
• Coaches or Youth Leaders: If you're involved in sports or activities, coaches or leaders can be safe adults to speak to if you need advice or help.

How to Reach Out to a Safe Adult

Reaching out to a safe adult can feel intimidating, especially if you're unsure if someone is the right person to talk to. Here are some steps you can follow to ask for help:

1. Find a Quiet Time to Talk

If you need to speak to a safe adult, try to find a quiet moment when both of you have time to talk without distractions. It’s important that you feel comfortable and not rushed.

2. Be Honest About How You Feel

When speaking to a safe adult, it’s okay to say exactly how you feel. Let them know if you’re upset, worried, or confused. You don’t need to have all the answers—just sharing how you feel is enough.

3. Ask Questions if You’re Unsure

If you're uncertain about something, don’t hesitate to ask the safe adult for clarification. Safe adults will take the time to help you understand.

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

If you’re in a situation where you don’t feel safe or you’re unsure of what to do, asking for help is important. Safe adults are there to support you and make sure you’re okay.

What to Do If You Can’t Find a Safe Adult

Sometimes, it can be hard to find someone you trust or feel comfortable speaking to. If you find yourself in this situation, it’s important to remember that there are other resources you can turn to:

• Helplines and Support Services: There are many organisations available to offer support, like Childline or other online services, where you can speak anonymously and get help.
• Teachers or School Counsellors: If you don’t feel comfortable speaking to someone at home, school staff are often trained to help.
• Friends’ Parents: If your parents or guardians are unavailable, talking to the parent of a trusted friend can be a good option.

Key Takeaways

• Safe adults are people you can trust and rely on for support, guidance, and protection.
• A safe adult listens, respects your boundaries, keeps your information private, and protects you from harm.
• You have the right to ask for help whenever you need it. Don’t be afraid to speak to a safe adult if something is bothering you.
• If you can’t find someone you trust in your immediate surroundings, there are other resources available to offer support.

Recognising safe adults and knowing how to reach out for support is essential for your well-being. It helps to know that no matter what you’re going through, there are people who care and want to help you feel safe, valued, and heard.

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