Understanding Disclosures of Child Abuse

Types of Disclosure Disclosures can be direct or indirect. Most likely a disclosure will be indirect, which can mean the child does not share the details of the abuse without being prompted or does so in a roundabout way.  An example of this is, “Sometimes my stepdad keeps me up at night”. A disclosure can be disguised, for example: “I have a cousin who is being abused.” In other cases, the disclosure can be through hints or gestures, or even through another child “My friend told me…” You have a responsibility to keep children safe.

Recognise the Clues It is important to recognize the possible clues so that further questions are asked. Most children who disclose want the abuse to stop. When the disclosure is “missed” they may continue with additional hints, or not. Some children may try to protect the abuser, especially when the abuser is someone they love. Support the Child If a child does disclose abuse, never forget how hard it is for him or her to tell someone about abuse. It is hard to hear your child has experienced abused, and your initial reactions may be to not believe or show shock or horror, but it is important to support the child and help him/her to disclose. Acknowledge his/her courage in speaking out.

During the Disclosure

1. Avoid denial. A common reaction to a child’s disclosure is denial. Respect the child by listening to what he/she has to say and taking what your child says seriously. Believe what the child is telling you.
2. Reassure the child that he/she did nothing wrong and that you believe him/her.
3. Listen and don’t make assumptions. Listen more than you talk and avoid advice giving or problem solving. Don’t put words in the child’s mouth or assume you know what he/she means or are going to say.
4. Do not interrogate. Don’t ask the child a lot of questions, especially leading questions, which means a question in which you provide a possible answer (examples: Did this or that happen? Were you at school? Did your uncle hit you on the leg?).
5. Listen to the child, letting them explain what happened in his or her own words. Don’t stop the child in the middle of the story to go get someone or do something else. What happened?
6. Make no promises. It is important that the child understands you have to tell someone if you are worried about them because they are being hurt or might hurt someone else.
7. Document exact quotes. It may be helpful to write down exact quotes of what your child said in case of the involvement of other parties, such as school or child protective services.
8. Be supportive, not judgmental. Don’t talk negatively. Even though your child may be disclosing terrible things that may have happened at the hands of a family member or friend, the child may still love that person and may only just be beginning to recognize that he/she was experiencing abuse. Reassure the child that he/she is not at fault and has done nothing wrong.
9. Have an understanding about abuse and neglect. Know the four kinds of child abuse: physical, emotional, sexual, and neglect.
10. Report any suspicion of child abuse and neglect. If you suspect that a child or another child is experiencing abuse, report it to the proper authorities. You will be asked for some identifying information such as your name, address, where you work, and how the child disclosed.  Your identifying information will be kept confidential.

Remember, it is the responsibility of All adults to act and keep children safe.