Recognising Abuse From the Perspective of the Victim

Physical Abuse: Hiding the Hurt

When someone is physically hurting you, it can feel like there’s nowhere to turn. You may:

• Have injuries that you can’t explain, like bruises, cuts, or burns, and feel like you have to hide them from others.
• Be afraid to go home, because you don’t know what might happen next. Sometimes, the fear of the next incident can be worse than the pain itself.
• Feel like you have to wear long sleeves or pants, even on hot days, to cover up your injuries so no one asks questions.

You might not want to admit what’s going on, but if these things are happening to you, they are signs that something is wrong, and you deserve to feel safe.

Emotional Abuse: Losing Yourself

Emotional abuse can make you feel like you’re not good enough, no matter what you do. You might:

• Feel worthless or that you can never do anything right. You might even start believing that you deserve to be treated badly.
• Feel sad or anxious all the time, even when things seem okay to others.
• Start pushing people away, because it feels safer not to let anyone in.
• Feel like you're walking on eggshells, not knowing what will trigger the next emotional outburst.

It’s hard to feel like yourself when you’re constantly told you’re not enough, but this is abuse, and it’s not your fault.

Sexual Abuse: Feeling Trapped and Ashamed

If someone is sexually abusing you, it can be one of the hardest things to talk about, especially if you’re feeling ashamed or scared. You may:

• Experience pain or discomfort in private areas that you don’t know how to explain to others.
• Feel scared of a particular person and not know why, but it’s hard to avoid them.
• Hide your feelings because you don’t know how to tell anyone what’s really happening.
• Feel like your body isn’t your own, like others have control over you in ways that feel wrong.

This kind of abuse is never your fault, but you might feel trapped and unsure of how to escape. Reaching out for help can be difficult, but there are people who care and want to support you.

Neglect: Feeling Invisible

When you're being neglected, it can feel like no one is there for you. You might:

• Go hungry sometimes, because there’s no food available or no one makes sure you get enough to eat.
• Feel dirty or unkempt, because you don’t have the right clothes or hygiene items, or no one checks if you’re okay.
• Feel extremely tired, because you don’t get enough sleep or aren’t cared for properly.
• Miss school or activities because no one makes sure you’re getting the education or experiences you need to grow.

It might feel like you're invisible to those around you, but your needs matter. It’s important to recognise that neglect is a form of abuse, and you deserve to be cared for and supported.

Behavioral Changes: Acting Out or Withdrawing

Sometimes, when you're being abused, your behaviour might change, even if you're trying to hide it. You might:

• Feel like you can’t control your emotions, lashing out at others or withdrawing from people completely.
• Start avoiding school or friends, because it feels like there’s no safe space anywhere.
• Act in ways that are dangerous or out of character, such as self-harm, alcohol, or drugs, trying to cope with the pain.
• Have difficulty trusting anyone, because you’ve been hurt by those who were supposed to protect you.

These feelings and actions are often a cry for help, even if you don’t know how to ask for it. You might not be able to control everything, but there are people who can listen and help.

What Can You Do?

If you're experiencing any of these things, it’s important to remember that you deserve to be safe. Here are a few things you can do:

• Talk to someone you trust, whether it’s a friend, teacher, coach, or family member.
• Reach out to a helpline, where you can speak to someone anonymously and confidentially.
• Tell someone about what’s happening, even if it feels hard or scary. There are adults and professionals who want to help you.
• Know that it’s not your fault—abuse happens to you, not because of you.

You Are Not Alone

It can be incredibly difficult to open up about abuse, but remember that you are not alone. Whether it's physical, emotional, sexual abuse, or neglect, there are people who care and want to support you. Asking for help might seem overwhelming, but it’s the first step to breaking free from abuse and taking back control of your life. You deserve to feel safe, valued, and loved, and there is always support available for you.

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